


There's Got To Be Something Better Than In The Middle

by vinesse



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:48:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25050412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinesse/pseuds/vinesse
Summary: It’s been eight years since Killua and Gon parted ways at the World Tree. Now, both accomplished hunters and roommates, it’s as if they had never said goodbye. Killua is convinced that nothing could disturb their almost-perfect life, until Gon takes a job without his knowledge.Istapo is a famous island resort with picture perfect beaches, crystal-clear waters, and a lush jungle with romantic waterfall destinations carefully marked on manicured paths. On this island, hidden deep within the middle of the jungle blooms an extremely rare and pricey flower, and that is the target of Killua and Gon’s hunt. The only problem is that Istapo maintains one very strict rule: Only married couples are allowed to step foot on the island. Gon knows this very well, and comes up with what he thinks is the obvious solution, a marriage license.Will Killua be able to survive the ordeal, surrounded by couples and maintaining the pretense of Gon as his husband, with feelings he’s hidden deep down throughout the years threatening to bubble up? Or will it all come crashing down around his ears, giving life to his worst fears that Gon will eventually leave him again?
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 11
Kudos: 201
Collections: Hxhbb





	There's Got To Be Something Better Than In The Middle

Killua generally considered himself an expert on all things related to Gon Freecss. He knew what Gon liked to eat, when his birthday was, that he drooled in his sleep, even that he sang terribly in the shower when he thought that Killua had left their shared apartment to go get breakfast. Gon was selfish, single-minded, and annoyingly sharp when he wanted to be. Killua also knew that Gon was ambitious, reckless, and didn’t think through plans at _all_ , because, annoyingly, that was Killua’s job. Killua had picked up a lot of facts about Gon over the years, and he was rather proud of that.

Killua knew that Gon _hated_ cleaning and waited until Killua forced him to do the weekly deep clean of their apartment. It was this fact that tipped Killua off immediately once he stepped through the doorway, sweaty and tired from his morning run. The entryway was cleared, shoes lined up neatly by the door, and Killua carefully toed off his sneakers before putting them at the end of the line, stepping out of the foyer and into the kitchen just off the hall. The kitchen was in a similar state of spotless, the card table where they ate free of the army of bills, jobs, and various papers that Gon picked up, all of the cereal boxes that usually stood guard on the counter put away, presumably in their designated pantry. The floor looked freshly swept, probably for the first time since they had moved in, while the stove shone, finally free of the coat of flour that had been put on a year ago when Gon decided that they were going to make cookies for some holiday, Killua didn’t even remember which one.

Killua swiped his finger along the top of the fridge, examining it for dirt. Gon had even _dusted_.

The rest of the apartment, Killua observed as he poked his head into the living room, was just as clean as the kitchen. The fan looked like someone had taken a rag to all of the crud on top of the blades. The couch looked, dare he think it, _vacuumed._ The coffee table was free of snack food particles. Killua vaguely wondered when Gon had time to do all this, given that he had only been gone two hours. More immediately, Killua felt a sinking feeling because Gon never did something like cleaning without reason.

Killua had lived with Gon for five years, ever since he and Alluka had run into Gon in Yorknew three years after they had parted at the World Tree. Killua knew that Gon never did _anything_ without reason, even if that reason was just to mess with his best friend. Unfortunately, Killua’s gut told him that this time, there would be a price.

“Killua!”

The world tilted as Killua leaned forward from the impact of Gon’s weight on his back as said man flug himself onto Killua, wheezing just slightly as tanned arms constricted around his stomach. Coming home to Gon was always a challenge; the other man seemed to take ‘welcome back hug’ to the extreme, and if Killua’s ribs didn’t creak in agony then it hadn’t been a real hug at all. “Gon,” he wheezed, _ken_ flaring up to prevent his ribs from cracking under stress, “I’ve only been gone for two hours, not two years!”

“Mmm, still a long time,” Gon argued, head somewhere between Killua’s shoulder blades and therefore out of range of a good punch. “Anyway, I have something for you!”

Killua stiffened at Gon’s sing-song tone, neck prickling like he had released electricity into the air. It was never good, when Gon surprised him. Correction, it was most of the time not good. Sometimes the surprises were choco-robos, and Killua could forgive a lot if chocolate was involved. “What is it,” he said suspiciously, trying to wiggle free. “Gon, let go– Augh!”

The room spun as Gon leaned back, effectively suplexing Killua over the back of the couch and into the freshly-cleaned cushions. Killua’s limbs sprawled as he attempted to keep himself from falling straight onto the floor, and he felt the furniture rock as Gon jumped over the back of the couch to join him. “It’s in the envelope on the table!” Killua finally pulled himself upright and glared at Gon from the flattened mess of his hair, and he reached out to pinch the other man’s legs. He snarled when Gon just laughed at him.

There was indeed a single manila folder on the coffee table, addressed to _Gon Freecss_ , and Killua snatched it up before using a single razor nail to slice it neatly open. “What, is it a new job? It better be somewhere warm, Gon, I–”

Killua stared at the single sheet of filigree-lined paper that he tugged free from the envelope, eyebrows rising high into the cloud of his hair. “Gon,” he said, voice even because _obviously_ this was a mistake. “This is a marriage license.”

Gon looked way too happy for someone that was being confronted with this particular situation, Killua registered. “I know! So you know that job we were looking at, the one on that island south of Greed Island…”

“Istopo,” Killua supplied emotionlessly. There was something curling in his stomach, a feeling of dread combined with the faint, faint tingle of excitement, and he shoved it down hard.

“Yeah! Istopo! Well I know we were talking about just sneaking on and getting some of the plant samples in secret, but this seemed easier!” Gon was beaming like he had just discovered a new form of _Nen_ , and Killua couldn’t understand for the life of him _why_.

It took a five second countdown for Killua’s heart rate to return to normal. This, he rationalized to himself, was just one of Gon’s many thoughtless, hare-brained schemes. Probably the most ridiculous one yet. “And _how_ exactly is a marriage license going to help us get onto Istopo.”

“It’s a couples resort, yeah? They only let people on honeymoons and stuff come. So if we’re a couple, then we can get tickets!”

“We could just _pretend_ , Gon,” Killua said, and this time he heard the desperation seep into his voice. Gon was still smiling, eyes glinting like he had just found a new game, and Killua felt his perfectly laid plans of hiring an airship to just drop them off on the island go up in flames.

“They require a copy of this,” Gon gestured wildly to the paper in Killua’s hands, “so it has to be official! We can always just divorce later.”

Killua still wasn’t convinced, mind racing to come up with excuses for why they absolutely could _not_ get married simply for a _job_ of all things. Gon’s smile slowly morphed into something more wily, eyes narrowing in challenge like he could see the gears working in Killua’s head. “Killua,” he said, voice tinged with an innocence that Killua knew for a fact was fake, “don’t you want to marry me?”

* * *

Killua had once considered himself to be an expert at everything Gon Freecss. Had prided himself in his knowledge, really. Now, though, as he switched between watching the stopwatch in his hand and watching Gon do push-ups at a rapid pace, he wasn’t so sure.

“Time!”

Gon collapsed on the ground, shirt sticking to the sweat on his back as he pressed his face into the lilac carpet Killua had _insisted_ that they get the minute he saw it in the shop window when they had first moved in. “Did I win?”

Killua turned the stopwatch to him, cackling in victory while Gon frowned at the numbers on the screen. “That’s not fair, Killua’s smaller so he has less weight to push! Of course you can do it faster!”

“That,” Killua said, pressing a foot on Gon’s back to keep him against the floor, “is not how it works, Gon _Zoldyck_.”

There had been a brief scuffle while filling out the marriage certificate, with neither man willing to concede to the other’s demand that they use their last name. Gon had suggested rock-paper-scissors; Killua had countered with a push-up contest. Gon had agreed, but only after Killua had put a hand on his shoulder condescendingly, telling him that it was ok if he wanted a chance challenge over an ability challenge. That had wiped the playful smile off Gon’s face, determination replacing it.

Gon frowned at him once again, eyes sparking as he wiggled under Killua’s weight. “What if we just hyphenated them!”

“No way, you agreed to do a push-up challenge to see which last name we use, and I won! You can’t just change the rules!” Killua argued, squawking in surprise as Gon wrapped his fingers around Killua’s leg, yanking him downwards to the floor. Killua hit the ground with a thump, and immediately dug his fingers into the ticklish part of Gon’s upper thigh.

It took several minutes for Gon to finally wrestle Killua into submission, the white-haired man pinned against the floor while Gon sat on his stomach, hands an iron grip keeping Killua’s arms to his sides, smiling once again. “See, you should just take my name, Killua, I’m better at wrestling than you.”

“Only because I don’t use lethal force,” Killua muttered. “And that wasn’t the agreement anyway, Gon!”

Gon pretended not to hear him. “If we hyphenated, yours could be first,” he said, eyes flashing in a challenge.

That was a tempting offer. It was also a way to keep Gon from challenging him to ridiculous contests of strength. He had done a _lot_ of pushups, and wrestling Gon was never an easy task. “Hyphenate, and you get me at least ten choco-robos.”

Gon’s smile was brighter than the sun as he finally rolled off Killua to lay on his back beside him. “Deal!”

* * *

“Did you know that he was going to do this?” Killua frowned at the tablet in his hand as a horrifying thought crossed his mind. “Did _you_ put him up to this?”

Kurapika smiled on the screen, carefully lifting a teacup to their lips instead of responding. Killua frowned even harder, feet propped up on the couch while he laid on his back on the floor. There was something that Kurapika wasn’t telling him, Killua just knew it. Unfortunately, they were still as tight-lipped as they had been when Killua had met them all those years ago.

“Kurapika!”

“Let’s just say,” Kurapika finally said, setting the cup gently back down on the table just out of sight of the camera, “that this is the toned-down version of what Gon was planning.” There was a pause, and Killua pulled a disbelieving face. “Very toned down.”

Killua paused, frowning down at the website listings for hotel rooms, eyes flickering to the small square on the screen that housed Kurapika’s video feed. There was no way that Gon had been thinking of something more dramatic than what he had come up with, Killua thought, minimizing the website and laying the tablet on his chest. “What do you mean?”

Kurapika’s face was interestingly blank. Killua felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up. “It’s possible at one point there was a very nice dinner involved, and a very expensive ring.”

Killua would have said that he didn’t believe it, but now that Kurapika had said it aloud, the truth of the matter was that he _could_. He could totally picture Gon actually proposing just for a job; he could even play out the scene in his head, probably word for word what Gon would have actually said.

Killua ground his teeth silently.

“So, you were partially right. I encouraged him to _not_ do that,” Kurapika said, taking another sip of their tea. There was something in the background of their audio–gulls, Killua thought–and for some reason that made him feel guilty. He wasn’t even sure where Kurapika _was_. He hadn’t even thought to ask when he had dialed their number.

“Kurapika, how have you been?” It hadn’t been long since they had last spoken, but Killua remembered the haggard look on Kurapika’s face, the way that their Kurta accent had tinged their words the way it always did when they were tired. He was never pleased, seeing Kurapika like that. “Have you talked to Leroy lately?”

“It’s Leorio, you little bastard!” Leorio’s face appeared over Kurapika’s shoulder, glasses askew and hair flattened on one side, as if he had just woken up. “Use my actual name, dammit!”

Kurapika shoved Leorio’s head away, bringing the camera closer so that their face was the only thing in view. “He,” they said, voice carefully even, “is doing well. From what I understand, the last time we talked he was doing extremely well.”

“Gross,” Killua said, more reflex than actual feeling. “I didn’t know… Are you…” He wasn’t sure how to phrase it, wasn’t sure if Kurapika was being watched or who was monitoring their calls, but Kurapika nodded anyway.

“I’m calling it a vacation, though I’ll probably spend most of my time speaking with locals and sight-seeing.” So they were somewhere on the Aizian continent, Killua guessed, most likely gathering intelligence for something Zodiac-related. “Leorio happened to be in town.”

Killua hummed noncommittally, his smile growing wider as Kurapika flushed red. “Right. Happened to be in town. Just like the two of you happened to book the only hotel room without two beds available, apparently?”

“We,” Kurapika said, one hand pressed to their cheek, “are not having this discussion, Killua. More importantly, Gon just messaged and said that you two are hyphenating names? You do realize that people remember mainly the first and last word of any given sentence or phrase, so given that his name is last it’s most likely what people are going to remember?” There was the ghost of a smile lingering on Kurapika’s face, and Killua squashed the urge to say something sickeningly nice.

Instead, Killua hung up on them.

* * *

The lobby of the hotel was huge, bigger than anything Killua had seen, and he figured he had seen quite a lot. He and Alluka hadn’t always stayed in hotels when they had been travelling, but whenever they did, he had made sure they were comfortable.

Nothing compared to the Istopo Island Hotel though. There was an entire wall that formed a fish tank, tropical species swimming lazily back and forth while kelp danced in the water. The tiles below Killua’s feet glistened with veins of gold. The decor was outrageously expensive; Killua had the brief thought that if the job ended up being too much work, they could probably just tear up the marble pillars supporting what looked like an honest-to-god gold leaf ceiling and call it a day.

Gon would never agree to that though, he thought bitterly. It wouldn’t be on any moral basis that he would say no, though; he would argue that it wouldn’t be a challenge.

Gon himself was already at the check-in desk, eyes fixed firmly on the exotic parrot sitting on a perch behind the staff member, even as he relayed their names and confirmation numbers.

“Ahh, yes, Zoldyck-Freecss… We have you in the Deluxe Honeymoon package!” The woman across the counter beamed as Killua slid up silently to Gon’s side, taking the offered pamphlet and room key when Gon refused to break eye contact with the bird. “Your room is on the last floor, 708! Room service should be finishing up now, so you’re all set!” The woman held her smile, even though it was obvious that Gon wasn’t listening at all. Killua had to admire her perseverance.

“Thank you,” Killua said, curling his fingers around Gon’s wrist to tug him away. “Gon, come on, I want to take a shower.” He rolled his shoulders, feeling them crack as he pulled Gon to the bank of elevators, ignoring the receptionist’s parting pleasantries.

“Did you see that bird, Killua? I remember Kite sending me a picture of one! Supposedly they’re super rare, so I wonder where they got it?” Gon jerked his head back to the front desk, but allowed Killua to pull him along. “You don’t think that they stole it from its habitat?”

“Probably,” Killua hummed, jamming his finger against the ‘7’ button. “It looks well taken care of, though. Its feathers were glossy and it had plenty of food.”

Gon didn’t look too convinced, and he paused a second before sliding his phone out of his back pocket. “Maybe,” he said, flipping it open with his thumb and scrolling through his contact list, “but I should ask Kite anyway.”

Killua said nothing, even though stealing the bird would probably be way too much trouble and effort. He never said anything when it came to Kite or something that Gon thought would potentially make them happy; Killua still felt bile in the back of his throat whenever he heard their name, and couldn’t ever bring himself to tell Gon ‘no’.

Watching the floor indicator on the elevator tick higher, Killua resigned himself to the fact that they were most likely going to be stealing the damn bird by the end of their trip.

“Killua! Look at this room, it’s _huge_!” Gon shoved open the door to their room, barging in first without so much as a second thought, leaving Killua to shut the door behind them. It _was_ huge, with a whole wall made of clear glass, giving the illusion that the room just opened straight into the air. Gon pressed his face against it, and after a second Killua did the same.

The island was beautiful, bathed in the fading sunlight, and Gon hummed appreciatively as they watched the sun dip beneath the horizon, clearly visible across the ocean from their vantage point on the seventh floor. It helped that the hotel was situated on a hill, and that their room overlooked most of the small island and the ocean surrounding it.

“Hey, Killua,” Gon said, turning to him once the sun had disappeared, “We’re only getting plant samples, yeah? The hotel has a minimum stay of two weeks…”

Killua lifted a brow smoothly. “So?”

Gon was chewing his lip. Killua elbowed him in the ribs to get him to stop. “Well, we don’t really have to get the samples right away, what if they wilt?”

Killua hummed, turning away from the window to fall backwards onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Gon was right, and they couldn’t risk the samples dying before they got them back to Yorknew. The whole job would be shot at that point. “So what, we just hang out until the last day or something?”

“That would make sense! We could just go ahead and scout for them, though!” Gon was smiling again, and Killua rolled his eyes.

“If you wanted to just play, you could have said so, Gon." Killua grunted as Gon flung himself onto the bed as well, bouncing a little from the sudden addition of weight. “I don’t mind taking a vacation. This place was expensive, we might as well make the most of it I guess.”

Gon beamed at him from under the mountain of pillows he had buried his way into. “And you didn’t even want to take this job, Killua.”

“I didn’t say that I didn’t want to take the job,” Killua argued, eyeing one of the closest pillows. It was a tempting thought, but he wasn’t sure how invested Gon was in getting into a pillow fight. The last time they had attempted, Killua had spent _days_ with feathers in all of his clothes and all in his room. “I just said that there had to be a better way to do it than getting married.”

“Do you regret it?” Gon was watching him, eyes curiously blank, face obscured by the pile of pillows. Killua looked at him, abandoning thoughts of starting a fight for now.

That was a very un-Gon-like question. Killua narrowed his eyes, ignoring the panic that bubbled up into his chest for absolutely no reason. “What? I never said that, idiot.”

“You could be thinking it.”

Gon’s voice was soft, softer than usual. Soft like when he had said that it was still hard to look at Kite. Soft like when he admitted that sometimes he still dreamed of Neferpitou.

Gon’s voice was soft, and that was why Killua told the truth. “I don’t regret it, Gon. I don’t think I’ve ever regretted anything that has to do with you,” he said, averting his eyes while he picked at a speck of dust on his jeans. It was the truth mixed with just the smallest amount of lie, the knowledge that Killua _did_ regret one thing, and that was not making Gon apologize properly before he left with Alluka all those years ago.

But that was the past, and Killua had made his peace long ago.

Killua still wasn’t looking at his best friend, focused intently on the imaginary spot, but he still heard the smile in Gon’s quiet “ok”.

* * *

They had just finished lunch when Killua’s curiosity finally overcame his unwillingness to talk about Gon’s dad in any capacity at all.

“Did you ever tell Ging, Gon?”

Gon looked up, dropping his popsicle onto his chest at the same time. Killua waited patiently for him to fix himself, rolling his eyes at the red stain left behind on Gon’s white shirt.

“No,” Gon finally replied, mournfully looking down at his stained clothing. “I didn’t think that it was important.”

 _That_ was not what Killua had expected to hear. He tapped his fingers rapidly on the booth table, faking interest in the passing tourists outside their beachfront window at the little cafe the resort had placed right at the surf. “Not important?” He asked, careful to keep his voice even, ignoring the ball that was beginning to form and slowly sink into his abdomen. “Well, you’re right, it is fake after all.”

He lowered his eyes to his juice, taking a long sip before narrowing his eyes and looking up at a silent Gon.

Gon’s face was torn between anger and shock, and Killua instinctively curled his fingers up into a fist. “What? Killua, no. I didn’t tell him because… Not because of what this is! Not because it’s fake, or whatever!” Gon’s mouth worked silently as he thought. If Killua looked hard enough, he bet he would be able to see the steam rising from Gon’s ears. “I didn’t tell Ging because why would I?”

Killua raised his eyebrows, the defensive knot in his stomach slowly loosening from confusion. “What do you mean, why would you? Why _wouldn’t_ you, Gon, he’s your dad. You spent two years looking for him!”

“You don’t tell your dad what you do,” Gon pointed out, taking a bite of the popsicle and leaving a smear on his cheek. “Why would I tell Ging? Ging’s pretty useless, Killua, I don’t think I ever even told him I was moving to Yorknew. Why would I tell him _anything_ , really? He’d find out if he wanted to know, and if he didn’t want to know…” Gon shrugged instead of finishing the sentence.

“You can’t just compare my dad to Ging, Gon,” Killua argued, his ears turning red with heat.

“Why not? They’re both shitty.” Gon pointed the popsicle at him, a smile finally splitting his face. “If Ging wanted to know the important things, then he could ask. I’m not going to go out of my way to tell him things that are special.”

“Special?” Killua echoed, feeling the flush of his ears slowly slide to his cheeks.

“Of course Killua, this is special. You’re my best friend, anything that concerns you is special!” Gon smiled again, bigger than before, and Killua momentarily felt his heart seize.

Killua had once compared Gon to light, and as he watched the other man finish off the popsicle and wave down the waitress for their check, gold wedding ring glinting in the sun, Killua thought that it still held true. There was something compelling about Gon, about the way he talked, the bright way he smiled, the endless enthusiasm that made up most of his personality that drew others to him like moths to a flame, Killua included.

Killua drug his eyes away reluctantly, and drank the rest of his juice.

* * *

Killua pushed the tree branch out of the way, and purposefully let it go to smack Gon in the face after he had passed.

The jungle was sweaty, and Killua just _knew_ that his shirt was ruined. That, coupled with the fact that apparently the only thing in the world mosquitoes liked was the taste of Killua’s blood even though Gon was shirtless and in shorts _right there_ , was slowly driving Killua over the edge. They had been out in the wild for hours, and didn’t seem to be anywhere close to finding the damn flowers that they needed.

“Are you _sure_ that they said they would be around here, Gon?” Killua asked, for what felt like the tenth time.

He could tell that the situation was wearing Gon’s patience thin as well, judging from the way the other man didn’t even bother to reply, instead cracking a fallen tree branch in half under his foot as he pressed forward deeper into the foliage.

Hissing softly under his breath, Killua followed, resorting to using _nen_ to slice his way through the thick leaves.

It was darker and cooler under the shadows of the trees, and as Killua pushed through a patch of bushes he realized that he could no longer see Gon. He froze, hair standing up on the back of his neck, listening closely to the sounds of the jungle around them.

He couldn’t hear Gon’s footsteps.

More than that, Killua couldn’t hear _anything_. The forest had gone silent, no more buzzing of insects wings, no more bird calls. Killua dropped into a crouch, fingers resting lightly on the fallen leaves. After all of these years, Killua had managed to extend his _en_ about two meters from his body; not the most that had ever been recorded, certainly nowhere near what his Grandpa was capable of or what Neferpitou had managed, but usually it was enough to help him get by on jobs. Killua stretched it as far as he could in anticipation.

There was the faintest rustling, just barely enough for Killua’s ears to register it, and he shot up instinctively, body moving faster than his thoughts.

The trees above him exploded into a combination of motion and bloodlust, and electricity circled Killua’s fists.

The fight lasted less than a minute. Killua had known before he had even called on _kanmuru_ that whoever was there posed no threat. What set his nerves alight was the fact that Gon was _gone_ , and Killua didn’t know where to. What Killua did know, however, was that whoever was in the trees most likely held the answers that he wanted.

The man was unconscious before Killua even registered what he had done, and Killua felt a combination of pride and sheepishness course through him as he knelt down next to the slightly-smoking form of his assailant. Whoever they were, they hadn’t tried to use _nen_ , so that most likely ruled out the option that someone had sent assassins after either Gon or Killua; you’d have to be really stupid to send normal people against pro hunters. Killua nudged the guy’s arm with his foot, first gently then harder when he refused to wake up.

Standing up again, Killua listened hard to the forest around him. There still weren’t any sounds, no indication of where Gon could have gone. The forest was agonizingly silent, like the whole world had disappeared along with him, and as far as Killua was concerned, it had.

* * *

“GON!” Killua’s voice was hoarse and scratchy, there were flies buzzing around his face, and there was still no sign of Gon.

Glancing at his watch, Killua clenched his teeth tight. Half an hour had passed, and while it wasn’t long in the grand scheme of things, it felt like a century. Gon was missing, _gone_ , and if it wasn’t so worrying Killua would have laughed at the irony.

Instead, Killua breathed in deeply and felt _kanmuru_ slide down his spine like a knife as he began to run.

Istapo wasn’t that big, and the uninhabited forest comprised the smallest part of the island. Theoretically, Killua figured he could run it ten times within ten minutes, but Gon had eluded his search.

Breathing hard, Killua stopped, head dropping into his hands. There was something pressing hard on his chest, something that hadn’t reappeared since Killua had seen the stiffness of Gon’s spine as he looked upon Kite for the first time, after they had abandoned him to Neferpitou. Something, or someone, snapped a twig in the forest, but it didn’t matter because there was something squeezing his heart, because Gon wasn’t there, he wasn’t _anywhere_ , and–

“Killua!”

“ _Gon_ ,” Killua exhaled, squeezing his eyes shut tight, suddenly boneless. There were hands on his shoulders, and Gon’s shoulder against his forehead, and Killua could suck down air again.

“Killua, I’m sorry, _fuck_ , Killua, I just found something cool and I didn’t think, I left the guy that jumped me under some leaves, and then I was so far from you–” Gon was babbling, voice high pitched and worried, and Killua felt shame flood his face.

Shoving Gon away, Killua wiped a hand over his sweaty face.

“Killua?”

Ignoring him, Killua inhaled deeply. It was the stress of the mission, the stress of _pretending_ so much in front of the countless staff, the pressing attention of all of the other guests that was wearing on Killua’s nerves. That was the reason, the reason for his panic, he told himself. He ignored the twinge of doubt in the back of his head.

“I’m fine, Gon. What did you find?” He avoided Gon’s eyes, lifting the front of his shirt away from his sweaty chest.

Gon didn’t look convinced, still looking at Killua worriedly, and for half a second Killua thought he would press. Instead, Gon turned, looking into the forest before he held out his hand. “It’s really cool, come on!”

“We don’t have to pretend here, Gon,” Killua said, teeth clenching tight. “There’s no one else.”

Frowning, Gon turned, hand still outstretched. “Pretend?” he asked, head cocked to the side. “Killua, what do you mean?”

Killua opened his mouth, before closing it abruptly. “Nothing,” he muttered, shoving the knot of irritation that was rising in his throat back down.

Gon had always been touchy-feely, more than Killua had ever been used to, even more than Alluka and Nanika. That was just a fact, a part of Gon that hadn’t changed even as they had grown up. The thing was that now, it grated ever so slightly on Killua’s nerves. Every touch, hug, brush of lips against Killua’s cheek reminded him that this affection was different than the hand holding they had done in their apartment alone, fingers entwined because if Killua didn’t hold Gon’s hand down, then it was liable to smack him in the face as Gon gestured his way wildly through a story. It was a show, now, for the other visitors to Istapo, for the nosy staff, for anyone that could be watching them.

Gon was still looking at him expectantly, hand hanging in midair still, and Killua reluctantly reached out and took it.

There were still bugs buzzing around Killua’s face, and he was even more sweaty than he ever thought possible but he slowly felt his irritation melt away as Gon led him through the bushes, fingers hot between Killua’s.

“Gon, what did you–” Killua started, and immediately stopped as Gon tugged him into a clearing.

The waterfall was amazingly tall, and Killua blinked into the sun before raising his free hand to cover his eyes. Impressively, he hadn’t managed to see it during his runs around the island, nor the nearly crystal-clear pool that had formed at the bottom. Gon was beaming with pride, finally releasing Killua to spread his arms wide.

“See! Isn’t it pretty, Killua?”

“Mmm,” Killua hummed in agreement, exhaling slowly, shoving all of his worries away. “Yeah, it is.”

* * *

The guard shot Gon a skeptical look. “So,” he said slowly, looking from the unconscious men in front of him back to Gon and Killua, “You’re sayin’ you two just… Pushed ‘em?”

“And they fell over a tree root,” Killua supplied, checking under his fingernails for dirt. His skin was itching for a shower, and he wanted nothing more than to scrub the leaves from his hair. “We were just on a walk, and they came at us, no idea what’s wrong with them.”

“Yeah!” Gon interjected, beaming cheerfully. Killua stepped on his foot as the guard looked away.

“I… See,” the guard finally said, rubbing the back of his head. “We’ll have ‘em on the first ship out of here and to the mainland authorities, we found some missin’ items on them, so I’m guessin’ they’re the cause of the recent rampage of thefts. Ah, thank you two for bringin’ ‘em in.”

“No problem,” Killua said, grabbing Gon’s wrist. “Come on, let’s go take a shower. I’m sweaty.”

Gon stared at the bird from across the lobby as they made their way to the elevators, and Killua rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Gon,” he finally said, jabbing at the ‘up’ button a few times, “at least don’t _stare_ at it, if we’re going to be stealing it later.”

Gon at least had the decency to look embarrassed, fingers creeping up to rub at the back of his neck. “I wasn’t staring,” he muttered, eyes flickering back to the bird.

The ride up to the room was silent, Gon checking his email while Killua leaned his forehead against the wall of the elevator, listening to the voicemail that Alluka had left him during their… adventure.

“Good?” Gon asked him, nudging Killua out as the elevator stopped on their floor, reaching into Killua’s back pocket to pull out their room key.

“Mm, yeah. Bisky’s teaching Nanika how to brush their hair,” Killua said, not even trying to hide the wistfulness that crept into his voice.

Gon gave him a knowing look before opening the door, gesturing Killua inside first. “We should have them over when we get back! We can go out to dinner or something, there’s that new cafe across the street, you know? The one that just opened?”

Nodding, Killua stripped off his shirt, grimacing at the amount of sweat on the back. “Gon, why didn’t you tell me I looked like this, it’s gone through my whole shirt!”

Glancing up, Killua saw Gon look away, tanned skin just a hint darker than usual. “Well, Killua, it’s not like you could have fixed it! Besides, it made the whole ‘we got jumped’ thing more believable?”

Killua frowned, looking back down at the shirt before tossing it to the side. “Well, whatever. I’m taking the first shower.”

“Take your time!”

Killua paused then, belt half-undone. “Gon, are you ok? You always say I use too much hot water if I showered first.” It was the truth, but Killua refused to admit it aloud.

“Fine!”

“Gon.” Killua pulled off his belt, dropping it on top of his discarded shirt. “Your face is red too. Did you get burnt?”

“Must have!” Gon beamed at him, cheeks and nose red. Killua noticed that Gon didn’t meet his gaze. “Killua, shower, you’re smelly and there are leaves in your hair. Also, you have mud on your forehead, did you know that?”

“Why didn’t you tell me! Did you really just let me walk through that entire lobby with _mud_ on my face? On top of all the leaves in my hair?” Groaning, Killua spun for the bathroom.

Turning on the shower to ‘slightly more bearable than boiling’, Killua leaned against the counter, tugging thoughtfully at the leaf still in his hair. Gon rarely seemed flustered or bothered. Half the time, Killua just had to guess at what he was thinking, everything covered up behind a smile.

Still thinking about the way Gon’s cheeks had flushed red, the way that he had avoided Killua’s eyes, Killua stepped into the shower.

* * *

When Killua opened his eyes, Gon was gone again.

The air conditioner hummed throughout the room, and Killua untangled himself from the blankets wrapped around his waist. Gon was a fighter, even in his sleep, which made sharing a bed with him almost impossible. Every time they did, Killua felt like he had gone two rounds in the ring when he woke up.

Examining the new bruises on his shin, Killua sat up, running a hand through his hair before running a sleepy eye around the room. The curtains were moved aside, and Killua could see Gon’s shadowy form propped up against the balcony railing.

“–eh, Kite?”

Killua laid back down, closing his eyes as he listened.

“Yeah, I’ll take a picture tomorrow for you! It looks really lonely here, just sitting in the lobby, Killua said to leave it alone but…”

Kite’s response was inaudible as Gon fell silent, but Killua could hazard a guess at what they were saying. Opening his eyes again, Killua stared upwards at the ceiling, tracing the lines of the gold-flaked marble tiles.

They had finally talked about Kite when they had first reunited five years ago. They had talked about Kite a lot, actually, the Kite that they had met when they finally finished Greed Island. The Kite that had taught them so much in the short time that they had known him. Killua knew that he hadn’t formed as tight of a bond as Gon had, and knew that most of his feelings weren’t completely related to Kite at all; Killua wasn’t so selfless that he wouldn’t admit that he hadn’t been as upset as Gon at the news that Kite was dead. He had been more worried about Gon’s reaction. Killua also knew that even though chimera ant Kite was still alive and Pitou was not, there was always going to be a part of Gon that was angry and sad about the man who they had first met, just like there would always be a part of Killua that would never forget what he had seen the day he had ran to find Gon and Neferpitou near Peijing.

Killua had spent months drowning in his resentment, in his belief that Kite had been the catalyst for Gon spiraling, for the way they had left each other. At the time, it seemed like the most logical thing. Kite was dead, Gon had almost been, and for some reason Killua just wasn’t enough for him even after all they had been through together.

Thinking back though, with all that he had learned since, Killua knew they eventually had to go their separate ways and that had been coming, with or without Kite. For a little while at least. Alluka needed him, and Killua needed someone who wasn’t Gon, someone to teach him that his life didn’t revolve around one person.

Gon slid silently under the covers, setting his phone on the bedside table without a sound. “Killua, did I wake you up?”

“Yeah, about twenty times when you tried to break my shins,” Killua responded, rolling over onto his side to prop himself up on his elbow. “What did Kite say?”

“They’re worried, apparently the species works best in pairs. Having only one usually stresses them out, and eventually they’ll start plucking themselves to death,” Gon said, rolling over to mirror Killua. “Maybe we could buy it?”

“If you want.” Killua hated how soft his voice was, how he always tip-toed around Kite and Gon and their nebulous state of grief and renewed friendship. But he could never bring himself not to.

“I want.” Gon rolled back flat on his back, flinging his arms out straight and subsequently smacking Killua in the throat. “Think maybe we could buy it?”

Coughing, Killua shoved Gon’s arm away, grabbing one of the extra pillows to hit him in the chest. “Probably,” he wheezed, blocking another slap.

Settling again, Killua punched his pillow into shape before wrapping his arms around another, pressing his forehead into the feathery-soft cloth. “Hey Gon?”

“Yeah, Killua?”

Thinking about the Gon he had found standing over Neferpitou’s body, and the Gon that he saw now, smiling after speaking with Kite, relaxed and happy, Killua let go of his anxiety.

“Nothing. Go to sleep, you want to go to the beach tomorrow?”

Beaming, Gon rolled over, grabbing the pillow from Killua and slotting himself into his arms instead, hair tickling Killua’s nose. “Yeah!”

Scoffing, Killua shoved his hand onto Gon’s head, furtively trying to push the green-black hair away from his face. “Gon,” he said, tightening his grip as Gon started wiggling, “stop moving. And kicking me!”

“Hey Killua?”

“ _What_ , Gon?”

“I’m glad we’re here. It’s been fun, don’t you think?”

Fighting to keep the smile out of his voice, Killua leaned his head back and shut his eyes finally. “Yeah, it’s been fun.”

* * *

Yanking on Gon’s arm and pulling him to the side of the trail, Killua lifted up the brim of his oversized sun hat.

“Ow, Killua, _what_?”

“Where,” Killua hissed, glancing at the older couple that forged ahead, oblivious to the fact that they had stopped, “did you _find_ these idiots, Gon?”

Gon rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly, looking anywhere but Killua’s face. “Well,” he hedged, rocking back on his heels. Killua resisted the urge to push him. “Well, they were at breakfast! You know, when you went to call Alluka? And well, Mika was so _loud_ that I couldn’t help but overhear–even over the guy playing the piano! Did you see that Killua? This place is so fancy–”

Killua raised his hand, waving to the harassed-looking staff member who looked back at them from up the path. “Gon, get to the point!”

“Oh yeah, anyway, I heard them bribe that waiter to take them on an exclusive tour!” Gon was beaming now, shoving his head in Killua’s space. “And guess what’s on that tour!”

“The plant samples we need?”

“Killua, you’re no fun.”

Pushing Gon ahead, Killua started after the others, yanking his hat lower on his face. “You tell me that a lot. But really… You couldn’t just bribe someone else to take us alone?”

Swinging his hands, Gon trotted along beside him, waving at the couple and the waiter that waited for them at the crest of the hill. “That wouldn’t be as much fun though!”

“Sirs, _please_ try to keep up, we’re really not supposed to be up here, they only schedule tours for half the year and if they find out that I’ve brought you here unauthorized–” The waiter wrung his hands before blotting at his forehead with the rag he had tucked into his pants pocket.

“Can you stop having a breakdown and just get us there?” Their travelling companions were older, delicate wrinkles lining the lady’s face while the man sported a very impressive white mustache, which rippled as he berated the already-nervous staff member.

Killua rolled his eyes, pointedly not attempting to hide it. Gon swatted at his shoulder.

“Dear, I’m sure he’s trying hard, let’s just enjoy the walk, shall we?”

Privately, Killua wondered why someone would put up with a man as obnoxious as her husband. Looking at the diamonds glittering on the woman’s wrist, at the sapphires that adorned her neck, Killua answered his own question.

“So, how did you two meet?”

Killua looked at the hand on his arm then at the woman, who was leaning conspiratorially into his personal space. “Uh, what?”

“You and your husband!” She laughed, leaning more on him, and Killua instinctively straightened up. “How did you two meet? You seem like just the loveliest couple, have you two been married that long?”

Looking at Gon for help, Killua carefully placed his hand on top of the woman’s, slowing his pace to match her shuffle. “Oh. Uh. We haven’t been married long… Just a month.”

“A month and two days, Killua.” Gon appeared on the lady’s other side, gently taking her other arm. “Killua, I dropped my wallet, can you go get it? Ma’am, let me help you. Oh let me tell you how Killua and I met! He gets so embarrassed; he doesn’t like talking about it—I bet his face is going to turn red.”

Groaning, Killua turned and spotted Gon’s wallet laying perfectly balanced on the one rock in the path. Rolling his eyes, he jogged back to scoop it up and put it in his pocket beside his own, running back up just in time to catch the tail end of Gon’s sentence.

“–and we were the same age! It was so funny, just meeting someone in Yorknew at the same hotel at the same time going to the same auction, so we started hanging out!”

It was the abbreviated version of their history that they used on jobs, forgoing the mention of the Hunter Exam, of everything they had gone through with Leorio and Kurapika. It was easy to keep straight, most of the truth mixed with just a little bit of lying by omission. For some reason, Killua hated it.

“Oh,” the woman tittered, “how cute! Mako, listen to this, how adorable!” She ignored the wave that her husband sent back at them, patting Gon’s arm. “It reminds me of when Mako and I met; oh, what a wonderful day. He ended up buying me this necklace with the date on it, can you believe that? In the shape of an L, my name is Loreli you know! So romantic!” Loreli beamed, proudly pulling the necklace around her neck out to Gon, letting him admire the obnoxious gold piece.

“So romantic,” Gon agreed, shooting Killua a glance. Out of Loreli’s line of sight, Killua pretended to gag. “You’re a very lucky lady.”

Loreli beamed. Killua choked back a laugh. “Thank you, dear.”

“Please, if we could keep going, I need to be back at my station within the hour before they wonder where I’ve been…” The waiter dabbed at his forehead, grimacing in the heat.

“We’ll get there when we get there. We’re paying you enough that it shouldn’t matter,” Mako huffed, glancing back at the others before shouldering his way past.

The waiter looked like he had some choice words to that comment, and Killua smirked as he followed.

“So, why Killua?”

Gon laughed. Killua purposefully didn’t turn around to look. “He’s my best friend! Don’t they always say that your spouse should be your best friend? I couldn’t imagine it being anyone but Killua!”

Flushing, Killua rubbed at his nose. Gon, he decided, talked way too much for his own good.

The path curved gently, the end hidden behind a copse of trees, and the sun was beating down furiously. Sweat was sliding down Killua’s neck, and if they didn’t find the stupid plants soon he was going to–

“There!”

“Out of the way, kid,” Mako grunted, shouldering Killua out of the way and into a pile of bushes, rushing ahead on the path to a cluster of bright purple flowers.

Grimacing, Killua followed, plucking leaves out of his hair irritably.

The flowers were beautiful, a vibrant purple that almost seemed to shimmer in the sunlight. There were small spots of white on the delicate petals, and the leaves gently curled upwards towards the sun, a bright speck in an already lively forest.

“Oh, they’re so pretty,” Loreli gasped. “Gon, be a dear and take me a little bit closer.”

Gon complied, shooting Killua a quick glance and smiling when Killua nodded in reply. It would be easy to come back here alone, without witnesses to dig up one of the plants. The waiter would probably remember that he had shown them where the flowers were, but if everything went the way Killua planned, that wouldn’t be a problem. Glancing at the necklace around Loreli’s neck, Killua bet that they wouldn’t even have to leave the island early.

Sliding his eyes over to the other couple, Killua carefully tucked away in the back of his mind the reverent way Mako felt the tip of a petal.

“Now, now, we should be hurrying back, I’ve shown you the nicest view that the resort has to offer!”

“Gon,” Killua murmured, sliding next to him under the cover of Mako’s red-faced tirade, “this is going to be too easy.”

“Tell me about it,” Gon hissed back, face frozen in a smile as Loreli looked back at them.

“You must ignore Mako, he gets so flustered easily. Especially when someone tries to tell him what to do,” she offered apologetically. Gon patted her hand in understanding.

It took ten minutes before the waiter finally managed to persuade the irate Mako that they could return another time, perhaps on the hotel-sanctioned tour that was offered, _for an_ _extremely reasonable price, sirs and madam_. The flower was considered one of the rare treasures of Istapo island, one of the most beautiful flowers in the world, and as such they normally charged an appropriate amount for visitors to be shown such a spectacular sight.

Leaving Loreli to suffer the company of her husband, Gon jogged over to Killua’s side, sliding his fingers through Killua’s before swinging their joined hands back and forth. “Mm, good thing that waiter managed to get us back here, right?”

“Yeah,” Killua said, glancing down at their hands, willing his heart to remain steady. “They were pretty.”

“Pretty easy to steal,” Gon muttered, tugging Killua along after the distraught Neri.

“That too.”

Returning to the flowers was easy, even solely by moonlight.

“Do you think they’re going to survive the journey?” Gon touched one of the petals, carefully curling it around his index finger while Killua set down the suitcase full of supplies.

“Kite said that they’re tough so probably. Just need to keep them watered, I guess,” Killua said, unzipping the luggage quickly before dumping the contents on the ground, glowering over at Gon who grinned back.

It had been a furious battle of rock-paper-scissors, with the ultimate casualty being that Killua’s suitcase was sacrificed to be filled with dirt for the flowers. At least it wasn’t one he was particularly attached to. “Gon, hurry up and help, we have to go frame the old farts before dinner and I’m already hungry.”

“Killua, don’t call them that, Loreli is nice enough!” Gon grabbed the plastic beach shovel, _shu_ encasing it to slice through the dirt with ease. “Mako though, he’s an asshole.”

Killua nodded in agreement, carefully dislodging the first flower from the ground. “It’s a shame to waste one of these to frame them, though.”

Gon shrugged, packing down the soil around the roots as Killua set it in the suitcase. “But it’ll keep them from trying to investigate anyone else when we go to leave.”

Killua hummed in agreement, digging up another flower. “How many did the job want, anyway?”

“Just two,” Gon told him, frowning down at the plants, “but most likely they’ll want as many as we can take. Should we dig all of them up?”

Killua looked down too, running a finger gingerly along the petal of the lone flower remaining in the ground. “Maybe leave one. So they can grow more with cuttings.”

Gon smiled at him, prodding Killua in the side with a bony elbow. “So thoughtful, Killua, even when we’re stealing things!”

Killua scoffed, shoving back at Gon before zipping up the suitcase, grunting as he lifted it off the ground, careful to keep it level. “Shut up!”

* * *

“So, what do you think?”

“Mm, about what?” Gon looked at the menu before closing it, tapping his fingers on the table. “The flowers?”

“Yes, Gon, the flowers!” Killua rubbed his face before lowering his voice, glancing around the packed restaurant. “You know,” he said, slightly louder, “our anniversary flowers.”

Gon shot him a perplexed look, leaning in just a little bit closer. “Wait, why would we be talking about our own anniversary flowers together?”

Killua could feel his ears turning red. “I don’t know,” he hissed, “what do couples talk about during dates that concern flowers, since you’re so loud?”

That caused Gon to pause, fingers tapping against his lower lip thoughtfully. “I don’t know either. What do we usually talk about? Though I guess that has nothing to do with flowers…”

Rubbing his hand across his face, Killua flagged down a passing waiter. “I’ll have the steak, and my fr–uh, husband will have the fish.”

Gon was beaming at him over his water glass. The waiter was smiling at him. Killua wanted to climb under the table. “Of course, sir,” the waiter said, whisking off.

“Thanks, Killua!”

“Don’t mention it,” Killua muttered, taking a sip of his water. “Anyway, what were we talking about?”

“How you’re going to buy me flowers for my anniversary,” Gon said, batting his eyelashes. “I like lilies.”

“No you don’t,” Killua scoffed, “you like hyacinths. Red ones, because they’re Aunt Mito’s favorite.”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Killua wanted to snatch them out of the air and shove them back in. Gon was looking way too pleased, like he had just called Killua’s bluff. Like the time that they had made a bet that Killua could resist buying chocolate for a whole month. Like the time that they had bet that Gon could throw that stone further than Killua. Like a whole bunch of times, where they had bet on silly little things.

For some reason, this felt different.

“I guess you win, Killua,” Gon said, flashing his teeth. “But you’ve never told me what your favorite flower is.”

That gave Killua pause. He’d never had a reason to think of a favorite _flower_ of all things. Chocolate? Yes. Color? Sure. Food? Of course. Those all had their uses; flowers did not. Not in his life, with the exception of what he thought Alluka and Nanika would like.

He hadn’t ever thought of it, but an answer came to mind anyway.

“Hyacinths,” he began, looking away from Gon’s growing smile, “are pretty, I guess. Aunt Mito has good taste.”

“Mm, I guess she does.” Gon’s voice was so soft, like he was talking to the scared cat that lived outside their apartment, the one that Killua fed every day and had been trying to bring inside. It made Killua’s heart freeze, just for a second, then melt completely.

The rest of dinner was a quiet affair, Gon apparently taking pity and steering the conversation to the pictures they had taken of the flowers, and what he wanted to do during the remainder of their time on Istapo. Killua was grateful, sort of, because such tiptoeing made him acutely aware that Gon knew that something was up.

* * *

“Do you think we should get an extra for Alluka and Nanika?” Gon was walking along the edge of the beach, just far enough out that the water pulled at his toes when the tide came in, shoes safely in Killua’s hands.

It was those moments, things that Gon said and did that caused Killua to notice the pickup in his heartbeat. Things like when he woke up at the crack of dawn to take pictures of the sunrise for Kurapika. When he thought about Nanika and Alluka, wondering if they wanted gifts. When he pulled the blankets around Killua’s shoulders, after Killua had fallen asleep on the couch.

Watching Gon, illuminated by the stars and moon in the amazingly clear night sky, Killua twisted the ring around his finger silently.

“Killua?”

“Mm?” This trip was going to kill him. He was sure of it. It was one thing to be vaguely aware of just how much Killua’s thoughts and life revolved around Gon when they were in their own apartment, where he could hide away in his room when his feelings became too much and he wanted to do something stupid like tell Gon how it felt. It was another thing to be trapped on a romantic getaway island, pretending to be _married_ , wearing a ring that matched the one on Gon’s finger. It was too much, and he was going to end up doing something stupid–

“Ki. Lu. Ah!” Gon was in his face now, way too close for comfort, and Killua jerked back abruptly, feeling the heat rise to his ears. “Stop thinking so loud, you’re making _my_ head hurt and that’s not fair!”

“How am I making your head hurt, idiot?” Killua scoffed, planting his palm on Gon’s forehead and shoving him away gently. “ _You’re_ making _my_ head hurt!”

“I haven’t even done anything yet!” Gon stubbornly refused to move, his nose almost brushing Killua’s.

Gon was so close, close enough that Killua could feel his breath on his cheek. Killua could picture the rest of the moment: He would slide his hand to the nape of Gon’s neck, pulling him closer, their lips touching–

“Hey! You two!”

Killua surged forward, teeth knocking against Gon’s, lip cracking under the pressure. Gon rocked backwards while Killua slapped a hand over his mouth. “Fuck!”

There was a bright light in his eyes, and Killua barely resisted the urge to electrocute whoever it was on the spot.

“Oh.” The light lowered, finally revealing a woman in a security uniform, looking rather guilty and holding a flashlight. “Oh, sirs, I’m sorry, I thought– Ah, have you seen this couple?” The woman fumbled with the breast pocket of her vest before pulling out a picture, passing it to Gon.

Killua peered over his shoulder, dabbing at his cut lip with the sleeve of his shirt. It was a picture of a younger-looking Mako, Loreli smiling from against his side. Killua thought back to the gold necklace, so easy to slice off Loreli’s neck when she wasn’t looking, and even easier to drop next to the massacred flower garden. It was almost as easy as when he had swung by their hotel room right before dinner, electrocuting the magnetic door lock and leaving one incriminating purple flower in a vase beside their bedside table, sprinkling dirt and crushed petals in a trail across the room for good measure.

“Oh, that’s Mako and Loreli!” Gon smiled at the guard, handing back the picture. “We met them at breakfast yesterday, they were really nice, right Killua?”

“Yeah, except where they were heckling that waiter about some stupid flowers or something,” Killua said, turning to Gon. “Is my lip still bleeding?”

Gon brushed his fingers across Killua’s mouth, apparently forgetting that the security guard was still there, or even that they had been talking to her. “Oh, yeah it is. Sorry, Killua.”

The guard coughed, and Killua felt the urge to fry her rise again. “Ah, heckling a waiter about flowers?”

“Yeah!” Gon pulled away, the heat of his fingers still lingering on Killua’s lip. “Apparently they wanted to see some flowers on a tour they offer here? But it’s out of season or something. They seemed really mad about it, they wouldn’t leave the poor guy alone.”

The security guard nodded, lifting a walkie-talkie to her mouth. “Thank you, sirs, please enjoy your night. Sorry to bother you.” With that she turned, hustling up the beach towards the hotel, barking orders into the walkie-talkie.

Gon waited until she was definitely out of earshot before turning back to Killua, sliding his hand around Killua’s wrist to pull it away from his lip before locking their fingers together. “I hate that Loreli’s going to get in trouble.”

Killua shrugged, looking down at their hands before turning his attention back towards Gon’s face. “Eh, it probably won’t be anything they can’t buy their way out of. Do you think the waiter will talk?”

“Neri? Nah, he was really grateful I kept Mako from bothering him on the way back. Plus, he just thinks it was a romantic anniversary gift for you, since you love flowers so much, and I don’t think that he’d wanna risk his job saying that he brought _four_ people up there.” Gon grinned, tugging gently on Killua’s wrist before letting go, snatching his shoes from Killua’s other limp hand. “Let’s go back to our room.”

“Did you have fun, Killua?”

Killua hefted the suitcase full of flowers into his arms, grunting softly. “Yeah, it was fun. Did you?”

“Of course!” Gon smiled at him, slinging his bags over his shoulders before apparently taking pity and gathering the rest of Killua’s as well. “We should come back here, don’t you think? Maybe not on a job, just for vacation!”

“That’d mean that we couldn’t get a divorce,” Killua told him, nuding the elevator call button with his elbow. “Unless you want to get divorced and then remarried? That would cause some drama.”

“Why would I ever divorce you, Killua?”

Gon’s voice was breezy, light and cheerful. It made the hairs rise on the back of Killua’s neck. That was somehow a trick question, Killua just wasn’t sure what the catch was. Or what the consequences would be.

“No idea, you got tired of me blowing all of our joint bank account on candy?” Killua nodded for Gon to go first in the elevator, rolling his eyes and stepping in when Gon shook his head. “That’s the only reason you would, right?” It felt like a dangerous game, to keep up this line of teasing, but Killua wanted to know where Gon would take it in the end.

“Maybe. Maybe I wouldn’t in the first place!”

Killua opened his mouth to respond, maybe even ask what the hell he was talking about, but shut it as the elevator opened again and two women stepped inside, laughing and chattering like they couldn’t tell that they had just interrupted something that felt _important_.

The ride down to the lobby was silent, the two ladies giving Killua concerned looks, but it was too much effort to rearrange his face into some expression less irritated. There had been something strange about Gon’s voice, the way it had almost cracked on the last word in a way that it hadn’t done in years, outside of the times Killua scared him during a scary movie. It felt like they hadn’t even _said_ anything, but something had shifted between them anyway.

Glancing at Gon’s face, gaze lingering on the freckles coating his cheeks, Killua felt his face heat up as he quickly looked away.

The ride to the airport was silent, Gon clicking away distractedly on his phone while Killua watched the passing scenery, finger tapping rhythmically against his knee. There was something weird, something wrong with Gon, and he just couldn’t pin it down–

_Squawk._

Killua froze before zeroing in on the canvas bag at Gon’s side, the one that he had assumed was filled with toys for Alluka. “Gon,” he began, shutting his mouth when Gon shook his head furiously, tilting his head towards the cab driver.

Killua was going to kill him.

* * *

“I couldn’t just leave him there, Killua!” Gon stroked the head of the bird peacefully perched on his shoulder. “It looked so sad! And Kite said that they definitely live in pairs, so he was probably lonely.”

“We’re never going to get to go back,” Killua groaned, pressing his forehead into his hands. “Gon, they have my _credit card_ information what if they try to just charge me for the stupid thing? Or come and get it back?”

“No one saw me take him! I’m a Hunter, Killua, I’m not some stupid kid still.” Gon rolled his eyes, tapping the bird’s beak before dropping into the seat beside Killua, looking out of the window of the airship. “I can’t believe that we’re almost home.”

Killua looked at him, then back out the window, watching the clouds pass by. “Yeah,” he murmured, leaning his forehead against the glass. “Alluka said she wished we stayed longer.”

Gon laughed, leaning into Killua’s side, and Killua resisted the urge to look down at Gon’s hands. There was something about the sight of the ring on Gon’s finger, the ring that Killua had gone to pick out before the trip, that threw him for a loop, made his heart stop, turned his ears red. He couldn’t stop looking for it.

He was going to miss it, when Gon finally took it off for the last time.

Killua looked down at his own hand, at the matching band that he had gotten at the same time as Gon’s. It had started to look natural, like it belonged on his finger. Killua carefully slipped it off.

“Killua? What are you doing, you’re going to lose your ring if you don’t wear it.”

“Well we’re not on the island anymore, it’s not weird if I don’t wear it,” Killua said, eyes firmly fixed on his lone finger. “Might as well get used to not wearing it, right?”

Gon’s face filled his vision, neck craning to hover right in front of Killua’s, and he felt his ears turn read as he remembered the night on the beach where Gon had been just as close. “What if I don’t want you to take it off yet, Killua?”

There it was, that hitch in Gon’s voice, and Killua had the same feeling in his stomach like he had missed a step on the staircase. “What?” he scoffed, pushing Gon’s face away and straightening up. “What do you mean, you don’t want me to?”

“I like them,” Gon shrugged, holding up his hand. The ring on his finger flashed gold in the sun from the window. “I like matching with Killua. I want to match a little bit longer, don’t you?”

Killua was staring at him like he had grown another head, and Gon laughed, reaching a hand up to rub the back of his neck. “Don’t look at me like that, Killua! I just like them. Keep it on?”

Killua averted his gaze, feeling his cheeks slowly start to color, and cursed the day that he had ever said hello to Gon Freecss.

He slipped the ring back on anyway.

* * *

The apartment was the same as they had left it, still clean from the furious scrubbing they had given it before they left, cognizant of the fact that if Bisky saw it when she came to water Gon’s plants, they would never hear the end of it.

Everything was the same. Gon and Killua still lived together, ate together, both slept in their separate rooms like they had before they had gone to Istapo.

Killua hated it.

He couldn’t sleep anymore, laying flat on his back in bed, staring up at the ceiling, all too aware of the fact that Gon wasn’t beside him anymore. It was a blessing and a curse; Killua couldn’t sleep without hearing Gon’s snores beside him, but at least he wasn’t being beaten into a pulp.

“It’s just _weird_ , Leroy.”

Leorio wheezed over the call, face twisted into an expression of rage. Killua minimized the video chat window.

“God _dammit_ , Killua, if you’re going to call me in a panic at least use my name right!”

“I didn’t call _you_ , I called Kurapika. Why are you on their phone, anyway?” Killua clicked through the library of games on the computer, pulling a face at each title. They all seemed boring, now.

“Kurapika’s getting dinner, and they left it here. Now, what the hell do you want, kid? What’s going on?” Leorio tried to keep his voice level, but Killua heard the uptick of worry anyway.

Killua weighed the options of just hanging up, which would make Leorio angry and by extension Kurapika would be disappointed, or just wading through the shame of actually admitting what was wrong.

His finger hovered over the ‘end call’ button.

“Killua, don’t you dare hang up on me!”

“It’s about Gon.”

In the corner of his screen, Leorio’s eyebrows shot into his hairline. “It’s about _Gon_? What, did you two fight on your vacation or something? Lover’s quarrel?”

Killua bared his teeth, oh so close to hitting that button. “Shut up! If you’re going to just be a dick I’ll call Kurapika later. Asshole.”

“I’m sorry.”

Killua drummed his fingers against his leg, his head turned to the side. “Whatever. Are you going to shut up and let me talk now?”

Leorio mimed zipping his lips.

Killua rolled his eyes, passing a hand down his face. “God, he’s just being… Gon. And it’s weird, it’s like we never went to Istapo, but he’s still wearing the _damn ring_. And he gets upset when I take mine off, even if it’s to wash my hands or something! What’s _with_ that!?”

That wasn’t even the half of it. It was the way that he couldn’t fall asleep by himself anymore, the way that Gon was always way too close now, hanging off of Killua like Killua was his personal armrest. The way that sometimes, if Killua was quick, he could catch Gon staring at him with a blank expression.

Leorio was smiling by the time Killua focused back on the screen.

He mashed the ‘end call’ button.

Leorio immediately called back, and Killua hit ‘ignore’. This was too much stress, it was embarrassing, and he couldn’t believe that he had said it to that asshole of all people–

Kurapika’s name popped up on his phone, and Killua answered without a second thought. “Kurapika–”

“You fucking idiot!”

Killua held the phone away, looking at the screen, baffled. “What the hell–”

“I literally just told you Kurapika left their phone, dumbass! What, are you so screwed up about Gon that you just ignored me??” Leorio sounded garbled, like the phone was in his mouth, and Killua pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Leorio–”

“That is not my name goddammit, now listen up!” Killua bit his tongue as Leorio took a breath, finally, inhaling so loud that Killua’s ear hurt from the sound. “I think you just need to talk to him.”

 _That_ was not what Killua was expecting. Especially from Leorio. “What?”

“Just talk to him. Ask him! He gets upset when you take your fake wedding ring off? He still wears his? Killua, I thought you were smart. What do you _think_ that all means?”

Killua chewed on his lip, thoughtfully looking at the ring on his finger. That was the thing; he didn’t _want_ to think about it all too closely.

He didn’t want to give himself hope.

“Killua?”

“I’m here.” It was too much to think about, too much speculation and the last thing he wanted was to go to Gon, let all of the words and emotions in his chest spill out and–

_Sorry Killua, I don’t feel the same. We can still be friends, right?_

“Killua, stop thinking so hard, I can hear the gears turning even though the phone!”

“It’s not that easy.”

“How is it not? All you have to do is ask him why he’s acting that way. What’s the worst he could do, tell you it means nothing? So what? He’s still your friend, Killua. He always will be. Do you think he’d really leave you or some shit like that over this?”

Killua had nothing to say.

“Don’t bother calling until you just grow up and use your damn words!” Leorio was yelling again, and vaguely in the background Killua heard the door open, a soft word of inquiry. “Now I’m leaving, go talk to Gon!”

Killua jerked as the dial tone blared in his ear, Kurapika’s name flashing on the screen.

Flinging the phone into the couch, Killua groaned, collapsing onto his back on the carpet. It was easy for Leorio, just telling him what to do. It was a whole different thing, to be the one that had to actually talk to Gon about _feelings_. The last time Killua had talked about his feelings, it had been with Alluka.

It hadn’t been pretty.

“Killua? What are you doing on the floor? Didn’t you hear me come in? Why are you thinking so hard that you turned deaf?”

Gon’s face filled Killua’s vision, sweaty and flushed from his run. “Killua?”

“Ew,” Killua groaned, jerking up and shoving Gon away. “God, Gon, you smell. Go take a shower!”

Gon was smiling again, that weird smile he had found somewhere on Istapo, the one that did funny things to Killua’s stomach. The one that was so soft, so soft that Killua figured he would ruin it, somehow, just by mentioning it. “Alright, Killua.”

“And after…” Killua drummed his fingers against his leg, face already heating up. “Gon? Can we talk?”

“What did you want to talk about?”

Gon’s hair was still wet, dripping into the towel around his neck, and Killua had the overwhelming urge to grab a blanket to throw over him. “Gon, at least dry your hair.”

“Nah, Killua said he had something important to talk about, so what is it?” Gon waved his hand, throwing himself on the couch without a care in the world for the fact that Killua was _already_ sitting on it.

“Gon, you’re getting my shirt wet!”

“Eh, it’ll dry. What’d you want to talk about?” Gon was smiling, chin propped up in his palm while his elbow dug into Killua’s gut. The ring was still on his finger, flashing in the sunset light pouring in from the window.

Killua looked away.

“When are you going to take that ring off?”

Gon froze, almost like a block of ice in Killua’s lap. “Why are you asking?”

“Just wondering,” Killua said, rubbing the back of his neck and focusing on the stain near the corner of the rug that he was absolutely positive Gon had caused. “There’s no one else here, why are you still wearing it? Why do you care if I wear _mine_? Gon, it’s weird!”

“Weird?” Gon parroted. There was something lurking in his tone, something that caused the hair on Killua’s arms to stand up. It was like disappointing Alluka. Or when Nanika got upset over something that Killua couldn’t fix like the shop being out of their favorite ice cream.

“Yes Gon. It’s weird to have a wedding ring when you’re not actually married.”

“But we are!” Gon jerked up, elbow grinding into Killua’s stomach, causing him to wheeze. “We are, Killua.”

“But not really!” Killua finally shoved him off, covering his face with his hand, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We’re not really married, Gon, that was just an act for the island. For the _job_. It doesn’t mean anything!”

“What if I wanted it to mean something? What if I want it to mean something now?”

Killua froze.

Gon moved closer, Killua could feel the dip of the couch cushions. “Killua? What if I want it to mean something?”

“You don’t, though,” Killua croaked, his throat suddenly dry. There was no way that Gon meant what he was saying. It was a fever dream, he was asleep and he’d wake up and nothing would have changed.

“I do!” Gon gently moved Killua’s hands, staring him in the eyes. “I do, though, Killua. Couldn’t you tell?”

“The hell I could tell, Gon!” Killua just knew that his face was way too red. “You never said anything!”

“Well Killua didn’t say anything either.”

It was like Gon had dropped a bucket of ice water over him. “What are you trying to say?”

“Killua, I’m not the smartest but I _know_ you. I know you. You’ve been acting different, you’ve been more affectionate. You’ve been smiling more. You’ve been staring at our rings.” Gon looked down at their hands, glancing at Killua before slowly entwining their fingers, tanned hand just a bit bigger than Killua’s own. “I didn’t choose the job just for fun.”

“Then why did you choose it?” Killua asked, looking down at their joined hands. “Gon? Why did you choose Istapo then?”

“Because I wanted to spend time with Killua. I wanted to share a bed. I wanted to hold your hand whenever I wanted, wherever I wanted.” Gon moved closer, breath feathering over Killua’s face. “I wanted to kiss you. I thought it was going to be ok, in the beginning. But then I didn’t want it to end. You call me selfish a lot, Killua. I want to be selfish this time, too.”

“Why didn’t you say anything before?”

“Cause I didn’t know if you felt the same way.”

“Do you know now?” Killua swallowed, hard. Gon’s face was way too close.

“Yeah, I think I do. Do I have it right?” Gon leaned further in, lips almost against Killua’s own.

Instead of answering, Killua leaned forward, squeezing Gon’s hand tight as their lips touched.

* * *

“Hey, Killua, Bisky said she was looking for you earlier.” Gon slid up beside him, looking at their crowded living room. “Also, I thought you got more orange juice?”

“I did. In the pantry,” Killua said, watching Kurapika dab at Leorio’s face across the room. “Are you seeing this? They’re like an old married couple! Does Leroy have no shame, they’re in public.”

Gon rolled his eyes, grabbing Killua’s hand and swinging in back and forth. Killua resisted the urge to smile. “Stop being rude, Killua, Alluka’s going to say you’re ruining her and Nanika’s party! Oh, there’s Bisky!”

Bisky was looking at him from across the room, eyes lingering for just a second on his and Gon’s joined hands before flicking back up to his eyes.

“ _One day_ ,” her voice whispered in the back of his mind, softened with time, “ _You’ll let Gon down and leave him behind to die._ ”

Killua raised his glass to her, holding her gaze before he downed the rest of his drink.

Bisky smiled.

* * *

She found him later, almost succeeding in sneaking up on him. He’d gotten used to it over the years, and didn’t even flinch when she popped up beside his elbow.

“I could give you five million Jenny to break up with Gon.”

“Save it for our wedding, you old bat,” Killua shot back, shoving one of the sugar cookies Alluka made into his mouth.

To his surprise, Bisky smiled again, lifting her finger and wiggling it in the air. “I’m happy for you, Killua.”

_You’ll let Gon down and leave him to die._

The words didn’t hurt like they did over ten years ago. Killua knew that Biscuit might have been right, back then. He was young, scared, Illumi’s needle burrowed into his forehead. They were kids. Dumb stupid kids.

Gon appeared behind Bisky, wrapping his arms around her waist and swinging her in a circle. “Three!”

Killua blinked in surprise before zeroing in on Biscuit’s raised finger, swearing and activating _gyo_ to reveal the bubbly ‘3’ floating in midair. “Biscuit!”

“Ten laps, Killua. Get running!” Bisky laughed, skirt flaring out behind her as Gon swung her around.

“Around what, my own living room?” Killua scoffed, using his thumb to spin his wedding ring around his finger even as he turned to make a lap around the tiny living room.

Alluka was smiling, sitting beside Kurapika and braiding their hair. Gon was laughing, twirling around with Biscuit. Everyone Killua loved was crammed into his apartment, and he had a ring on his finger that was from his best friend.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I had such a fun time participating in the HxH Big Bang, and hope to do so again! ;u;


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